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No. No. No. No. Not Hodor. Assuming your eyes are somehow dry enough to read this… Hodor is d...

‘Game of Thrones’ Mini-Recap: The Most Devastating Death Yet?

By 17:47:00

No. No. No. No.

Not Hodor.

Assuming your eyes are somehow dry enough to read this… Hodor is dead. Hodor died. Bravely, obviously, and at the hands of the show’s most fearsome villains (the White Walkers and their wights) so that he could keep Bran safe. But none of this changes the fact that one of the show’s most beloved characters is now dead. Together we sob forever.

Merely killing off a character as wonderful as Hodor would have been too simple for Game of Thrones. No, it also had to do it in the most emotionally devastating way possible: Finally revealing what “Hodor” meant. The word was an abbreviated version of “hold the door,” which was what Meera shouted at Hodor as she whisked Bran to safety. But apparently her command traveled through a warging Bran and backward in time to when young Hodor was a normal, healthy child, and it somehow fried his brain, thus damaging it while also tearing the fabric of time and space. I know that sounds like a complicated paradox, but it’s very hard to type with these tears, guys. From a young age Hodor was PROGRAMMED to become Bran’s savior, and in death he fulfilled his destiny.

Hodor’s death came at the climax of one of the most insane, exciting, terrifying, and expensive-looking action sequences in this show’s history (which is saying something). After a warging Bran accidentally alerted the Night’s King to his presence, the White Walkers’ army showed up at the tree condo looking ticked. This led to a devastating sequence where the Children of the Forest were slaughtered wholesale while Bran’s dire wolf and the Three-Eyed Raven himself were fatally struck down. Meera and Bran were able to escape in the end, but will any of us ever be okay again? Hodor is dead.

“The Door” was rich with other great turns as well, as we saw Sansa step up her revenge-quest against Ramsay Bolton by heading up the charge to recruit other armies. Most satisfying of all was when she tore Littlefinger a new one for having handed her over to the Boltons in the first place. This season’s best new character is Angry Sansa, and she BROUGHT IT.

Daenerys celebrated her newfound ascension to ruler of the Dothraki by, you guessed it, riding a horse around the desert for a while. But she was also distressed to learn that Ser Jorah was well into dying of Greyscale, so that put a frown on her face. For his part, he finally admitted to her that he loved her, which was a bittersweet moment for them all. Meanwhile, Meereen continued to be horrible, but at least Tyrion and Varys had the novel idea of attempting to spread the good word about the Lord of Light via a sexy new red priestess, so one hopes that maybe a horde of shadow babies might hopefully descend upon that wretched city.

Though the Lannisters didn’t factor into “The Door,” we were treated to a stage show in which the various players were savagely satirized in front of a Braavos crowd. An undercover Arya found the impressions of Cersei and Joffrey pretty amusing, until a cross-eyed, buffoonish Ned Stark took the stage and was beheaded for laughs!

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