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Dear Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s Hive: I write you this letter to ask: What were you doing all tha...

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recap: Blue Man Droop

By 18:16:00

Dear Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s Hive:

I write you this letter to ask: What were you doing all that time on Maveth? Because you seem to have arrived on Earth with the flimsiest of master plans.

I mean, your inability to micromanage mere human stooges such as Dr. Radcliffe turned the Marvel universe’s quite famous Kree, here on a live-action primetime TV series, into a wildly wasted opportunity usurped in part by so-so make-up effects (which is not on you per se). You summoned these “mighty” reapers from nearby outer space for the distinct purpose of obtaining their blood for your world-changing purposes, only to leave it up to your very untested crush, Daisy, to subdue one for letting? While you and your nicely tailored Neo costume made sport out of dueling the other?

Perhaps you were distracted by the mayhem going down in your newly purchased ghost town, as S.H.I.EL.D. easily set up a perimeter, before one of its agents waltzed into an empty bar and got your chatty new recruit to give up gobs of crucial intel. Daisy’s mission meanwhile was nullified by the other  S.H.I.E.L.D. agent who, unattended and unnoticed for minutes upon minutes, stood before her and preyed upon the remaining crumbs of her still-human psyche.

And did I mention that you sacrificed the last remaining Hydra honchos to Radcliffe’s suspect science? Surely they could have helped with the day-to-day of ruling Earth. Or maybe are you not good with delegating?

(One thing I cannot hold you accountable for is the shenanigans at the S.H.I.E.L.D. base, where we’re stuck on a loop of Lincoln trying and trying to help the team only to again and again get benched. Fortunately, the tepid debate over whether to use Lincoln as an Inhuman guinea pig didn’t drive an obvious wedge between nascent lovebirds Fitz and Simmons.)

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